“I thought being hard on myself would make me better.”
I hear this all the time. Clients often believe that self-criticism is what keeps them sharp, driven, or emotionally contained. The assumption is that if they just push a little harder, feel a little worse, or hold themselves to impossibly high standards, they’ll not only feel okay—they’ll do better, achieve more, and finally become the version of themselves they think they should be.
You might know the feeling. You’re at a dinner party, in a meeting, or with old friends–technically, you’re not alone. But emotionally? You feel completely unseen. As a licensed psychotherapist specializing in relationships, boundaries, and emotional wellness, I often hear from clients who are stuck in this in-between space. They’re surrounded by people yet starved for real support.
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