in New York City
Learn how to heal your relationships
EFT in NYC
We specialize in Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples in NYC
What is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Disagreements can be frustrating, especially when you don’t feel heard by your partner. Frequent arguments that leave you feeling angry and alone eventually harm the relationship. Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) can help people heal their relationships and break out of negative communication patterns.
Emotion-Focused Therapy focuses on the negative interactions between couples and works to improve their relationships. While EFT is a highly effective and empirically-based approach to couples therapy, it can help individuals gain a greater awareness of their emotions, learn new strategies to cope and help them to change unwanted behaviors.
Can I benefit from Emotion-Focused Therapy?
Emotion-Focused Therapy doesn’t blame couples for the distress in the relationship. Instead, it focuses on the emotional breakdown of how they understand and respond to each other. These breakdowns in communication become a cycle of anger that causes a loss of intimacy, where couples often react rather than respond to each other.
If you feel you and your partner have lost that special connection and sense of safety therapy can help. The “secure attachment” develops in therapy between partners where each partner is able to express their emotional experience in a safe and healing space. Each interaction provides a sense of protection and comfort for each other.
EFT may help individuals and couples concerned about:
- Chronic illness
- Family disharmony
- Anger issues
How does Emotion-Focused Therapy Work?
To strengthen relationships, each partner must feel safe enough to be vulnerable. The way you respond to emotional triggers happened long before meeting your partner. In your childhood, parents, childhood friends and siblings played an important role in how you responded to feelings. Those learned responses may have been useful then, but now those same responses cause problems as you navigate the relationships in your life.
EFT “looks within and between.” Meaning it focuses on how people process their experience into an emotional response. It explores why you react the way you do when you feel a particular emotion. And then how that reaction creates a specific response from your partner and vice versa.
EFT is a three-stage process that helps couples create an understanding in the relationship. The couple completes the first stage once they effectively communicate at home. The second stage, connecting and bonding, builds upon their newfound security. The third and final stage is a few sessions set aside for a recap of the process.
The Three States of Emotion-Focused Therapy
1. De-escalation. In the de-escalation phase, the therapist helps the couple understand how their interactions are contributing to a negative and unsustainable cycle of communication. Each partner expresses emotions in a way that will help connect to the other and both are aware of deeper feelings and each other’s personalities. The couple is able to begin to untangle the reasons why each partner is reacting in a certain way.
2. Restructuring Interactions. In the second phase the couple challenges past interactions and learns to reframe old patterns into new behaviors. Here the couple explores and shares needs with their partner in an open and honest way. Partners learn to become more attuned and responsive to the other’s needs.
3. Consolidation. The third phase of EFT helps couples use their new bond to solve life’s daily problems. The goal is to create an environment where both partners feel heard, and able to manage issues in their relationship together.
Your therapist will help guide conversations based on honest feelings. This is an essential component of successful therapy. You will learn how to listen to each other’s emotions and find more productive and caring ways to communicate.
Emotion-focused therapy for Families and individuals
Individuals and families can also benefit from Emotion-Focused Therapy. EFT can help individuals suffering from depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Emotion-Focused Therapy can help families learn how to improve communication and cope during difficult times. With the help of a therapist, families and individuals are equipped with the necessary tools to better manage their emotions and their responses to those emotions in a safe environment.
Want to Improve Your Relationships?
Get in touch today.
Whether you’re an individual or in a partnership, Emotion-Focused Therapy can affect lasting change in your relationships. Schedule a complimentary consultation with a therapist who specializes in EFT.